Science of Gaming, and Why It Never Seems Right to Me

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First week of university is not that harsh for me. I’m gonna discuss games that I recently, used to play, and has been playing, until now.

Insaniquarium

Pam param pam param param pam param pam pam pam parararam

It’s a fun game to play, I used to play with my sisters

Plants Vs. Zombies

This one is really fun as well, I used to explore the game with cheats and such. But I remember not grinding too much for this game.

Genshin Impact

Now, this is where the paragraph will get intense. 🤔 When this first came out, it was kinda hyped in my circle. Everyone played this game, me too. I played this game for a whole 2 days $\times$ 10 hours + several coop sessions 🧙‍♂️. Then I stopped. And never played this game again. I still follow the hype (which I plead guilty for, because I don’t really understand the lores, only the surface top of the characters only 😢)

Well, to be honest, I only played this game just because I don’t want to be left behind my circle 😶. I played this game until AR 36, and stopped. There are several reasons I stopped.

1. University’s courses are being dead serious and I can’t spend that much time to grind.
2. The hype went slow
3. I played too hard, I felt bad
4. My gachas suck
5. And the reason… The reason why I stopped playing most games. I skipped the story. 😡

Alright, now, you guys can rent the f out of me. But let me explain. When I was pooing, I realized this one word that my friend, Pancen said to me, that you aren’t enjoying the story. And turns out, I skipped all the cutscenes and dialog. 😶

Not only because I was lazy to read english lores, it was just too slow paced to me. I thought playing game was like all fighting and punching. The one thing I realized I wasn’t doing things right are when I realized. 💥

I never read the dialogs for most of the games I played. 😢

Now, moment of silence. You guys may hate me for saying I’m being a fake fan or such shits. 💩

One thing I do is, I don’t really read the dialogues, but I do watch and read the lore and stories from Youtube 😕. Wait what?

So rather than experiencing through the game, I’d rather let people in Youtube explain it to me as a movie or summary,,, 🤔

Is this even allowed. Am I able to call myself a player? Or was I only an enjoyer all along? 😕

This makes me realize through several more games, In fact, I finished.

Grand Theft Auto V

Holy shit, I finished the whole story mode without understanding the storyline. 😵

I can’t recall the story by now. 🤔

Am I considered a fake gamer? A fake player?

To be honest, when I write in English, my mind wasn’t really thinking in English. So I’m thinking in Bahasa Indonesia right now, it’s just like I only changed the output adapter to English. In that case, when I play, I didn’t read in English, so my mind would see gibberish when I play, as I’m not a natural english reader, I can’t fully understand the dialogues 😭

Dota 2 and CS:GO

Now I finally understand why I spent most of my time playing this game.

It doesn’t have story mode. All you do is just communicate with your friends finishing a casual objective, a small brain would understand 🧠.

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Now the kinda fun part, is when I watch english videos, I need to think and focus. But, it’s hard for me to ignore anywhom speaking Bahasa Indonesia or my native mother language, teochew. My brain would insert all the information without me even need to focus to it. It’s just like even though I don’t wanna hear it, I still can. But english, I can simply ignore it and it will sound giberrish to me. 😳

So, if I don’t pay attention, all the informations would just pass by 🎐💨💨

I’m so sad, I think this is related to conciousness and language learning. It’s kinda a sad fact knowing I’ll never learn how to speak english subsconciously, or any new language I wanna learn, like chinese and Japanese.

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So, maybe I’ll try reading more english articles, and play games the right way from now, on. At least. I currently have an assignment, yet I wrote this almost-1000-words-essay right now. 😭

I already thought of writing this in the toilet, and like so many sessions of brainstorming I’d like to document, but never seem to did it.

But this time, I made it.

I’m kinda proud of myself.

I’m currently doing some private facial mask session, while writing this blog post. Im’ma update my diary and go sleep soon!.

cyaa!