Year End’s Diary

Christmas

Christmas is near. Unlike some people, this season is one of my favorites time of the year, there are things to do in christmas. Got lots of treats, time of the day where you can break through some of your demanding thoughts and stuff.

Recently, I’ve been watching the series “Wednesday”, which I think is awesome. There are good news and bad news that I want to share with you. 🎄

By the way, this blog post is truly special.

Because, not many people know I actually write on a daily basis.

And the funny thing is, this life scribble is not something that people read, because only some of my closest people read it here!

Even I can get to 100 views on my instagram close friend story, and in 30 days, there are only 21 active people actually reading my posts. Which, I think is intriguingly cool for me. If I recall, I only share my blog to those who reads my Semester Review posts. 🦀

So In a sense, people who read my posts are the ones Im cool with.

And damn, you guys really have the time to spend everyday checking this site. 🥗

I don’t post that often, but knowing you guys actually spend time to open this site time to time checking for new post is…

Amazing. I appreciate that.

Make it a Good One

• Out of all my new year’s resolution, only one of them is currently pending. I’m pretty sure I will achieve it soon enough, so I believe (it’s really crazy, yes), I can say I actually achieved all of my new year’s resolution. 🎊
• I will start making my last Semester Review blog post which won’t say much about me as this semester, I believe is one of the most chill semester out of the other 6.
• By the way, the amount of love for me to take a hot shower is too damn high. I took about 5 showers yesterday because I’m living in a hotel (and only once or twice going outside yesterday).

Querying Life

I have several things that I want to do after I graduate, and surprisingly, working to a company and gaining some good profit is not one of them.

• I met Kak Arnold in Thursday (2 days ago when I write this post), the 3 hours meeting actually gave me lots of insights, tl;dwte (too long; don’t want to explain) I decided to do something risky. 🔥
• Until November 2023, I decided I will grind myself for once in a lifetime chance that is given to me. Risky move huh? It’s okay. 🌴
• My parents just moved into a new house in Pontianak, I think I will spend a week or two to adjust my living environment in there, I will also move all my things in Depok to Pontianak, I’m considering to use JNE Trucking. I know it will take quite a time for it to arrive, but at least its cheap enough for my broke ass. 🤡
• I will return my tuition scholarship for the 8th semester, because I graduated in 7. 💰
• I will develop a brand new personal web
• Develop better anisubber with Tauri.
• Design an original virtual character and develop my own streaming graphic design.

Starting early this year, I have some new year’s resolution I’d like to share for 2023🐍:

• Be High Yellow in Codeforces.
• Stop feeding my sexual fetish.
• 50 KGs body weight
• Long hair I’d like to color blue later.
• Visit Europe

2023 is gonna be one of the most risky year I probably am going to live.

See You Around

Well, the bad thing about me is, I don’t have a friend to hear my shitty rant because it’s just too selfish. I’d even say myself an antagonist in my own story. 😹

I’ve recently feel the existance of me ranting in this blog is kinda threatening me. So I decide not to continue writing my rant and sad post in this website anymore. Yes, this is a hard and big decisions, because I do know that there are some of you read my blog just for the rant. 🤬

Well the thing is, my blog pages do get indexed in Google, because the main page, https://hocky.id has lots of traffics. I do know that there are lots of privacy concern, including defamation and stuff, quoting my lovely friend, about someone else sharing their thought on the social media 🦃:

ngomong gini di acc publik

gue paham mksdnya but DAMN di acc publik bre

I give it a well thought in a shower, and yes. I do think it’s quite inappropriate for me to do it.

So, I’ll find a new domain to put my ranting post, somewhere more “private”, It will get frustating for me because the main point for ranting is for other to read, but only for those you trust, and the issue for me is:

• I don’t have someone I trust. ❤️
• I’d like to share my thought. 🧠
• I don’t want my rant to hurt other people directly. Because, who does? 😵‍💫

So in the end, I just want to be listened to 👂.

I don’t really know what to do next. Internet is not the safest place to share your bad thoughts filling the capacity of your brain. 👺

Besides, I like writing, and it reduces so much stress when I move my frustation to a sheet of paper or markdown documents. But not sharing it doesn’t cope my brain for its mechanism to share that I’m in a pitiful condition. It needs attention for people whos around me ❄️.

So I guess, the next time I feel sad, I will just masturbate sleep till I feel productive again 😹.

Anyways, cheers.

Merry christmas!